Sunday, November 15, 2009
Sunday Wisdom from the Daredevil Book for Cats
Lets hear some more wisdom from Prince Cuddles:
How to wheedle around your human servants
1. Lie around doing naff all, hoping that by some miracle of ESP they realise what you are after and produce it. (This rarely works, which doesn't stop me from trying it).
2. Look at them with your cutest expression.
3. Add purring to 2 (above).
4. Paw at them, making insistent 'miaow' sounds.
5. Rub yourself around their ankles. (I find this degrading).
6. Start moaning. Something like this: 'Riaow, riaow, mrrw, riaow, RAOW, RAOW!'.
7. Bite their ankles.
8. Take the goldfish hostage.
9. Eat the goldfish.
10. Take the children hostage.
11. Let the children go (you were only bluffing) but set fire to the kitchen.
12. While the kitchen burns, call in a nuclear air strike.
13. Unlucky for some! Having destroyed their entire town/city, become the head of a James Bond-style world domination organisation, buy a very big laser, plant it on the moon and hold all of planet Earth for ransom.
Um - thanks Prince Cuddles - this is exreme advice! He reckons that should do it - get your own way I think he means - otherwise, if they still haven't topped up your water dish, Prince Cuddles recommends changing families......
I think I might have to read ahead to see if all Prince Cuddles' advice is this violent and involves world domination!
Nick Griffiths website - author of The Daredevil Book for Cats