Sunday, December 13, 2009

Sunday Wisdom from the Daredevil Book for Cats

What to do if you climb a tree by mistake....

According to Prince Cuddles you must:

1. Mewl as if your life depends on it (since it does)

2. Once you have attracted the dear old lady with a bag's attention - avoid youths in hoods, who will only throw stones and find your predicament briefly hilarious, before slouching off to the nearest shopping centre - keep mewling!

3. She will call up at you, somehow imagining that you understand human. "Are you stuck?", "Come on kitty, you can climb down" - that type of nonsense. Ignore her and hope she locates someone more useful to ask for their help.

4. When the more useful person arrives, they will both stare up at you, probably pointing. Others may gather with them. It's alright, they know you're there now. You can safely revert to ignoring them as if they are dirt.

5. You may hear sirens - a good sign - or a fire engine might just turn up unannounced. This is the Fire Service. They have ladders, which is just the job.

6. A fireman will climb a very high ladder, risking life and limb to reach you. Try to scratch his eyes out when he gets there (It's only fair).

7. After you have diegned to be rescued, the fireman will descend the ladder. Once safely on the ground, struggle out of his arms and waltz off as if you've been unnecessarily inconvenienced.

8. Climb the tree again.

Hey thanks for that Prince Cuddles. Good advice for a bit of fun once again.

But in Australia, the standard operating procedure for the fire brigade in getting kitties down from trees is to turn the hose on them - can you imagine????? How horrifying.

Nick Griffiths website - author of The Daredevil Book for Cats


I love receiving comments - get those paws tapping!